Friday, May 27, 2011

A Cautionary Tale

Now that the the blogosphere is buzzing about my new blog (I've had more than 6 visitors in the last month!) I figure I had best not commit the greatest sin any green blogger can commit.  Having recently posted a post about the fact that I will be blogging, it is important, nay, crucial that I post a new entry to give meaning to the existence of this blog soon, otherwise my blog runs the risk of being one of those blogs that starts with a promise of "frequent updates" and "timely posts" only to fall out of orbit, drift aimlessly through the void, and finally join its kind in a dark, ever growing mass that will inevitably implode under its own weight, forming a dark hole from which nothing but the occasional new cat photo or summer time playlist could ever escape.  No, we don't want that.

Just call me the platinum Midas

So, you know how sometimes you have a dream?  Not like the dreams that you have at night, though I'm sure you've had some doozies.  Please, tell me about them.  But some other time, because now I want to talk about real dreams.  The dreams that make you wake up every day and push yourself a little harder.  Or even the dreams that make you wish really, really hard that something, usually something amazing, will happen to you and you'll finally have everything you need/want/could hope for.  Well, I had a dream once.  It was a simple dream, one that I knew would require hard work, practice, dedication, trustworthiness, loyalty, helpfulness, friendliness, courtesy, kindness, obedience, cheerfulness, thriftiness, bravery, cleanliness, and reverence.  Now, I'm no eagle scout so this was a tall order for me.  You've probably already guessed that I wanted to be in the Platinum League in Starcraft II.

Well, fast forward to a couple of days ago.  I finally accomplished this goal with the help of my brilliant younger brother, Lincoln.  Our 2v2 team decimated any foolhardy challengers that would dare, erm, challenge us.  We quickly shot through the ranks and found ourselves at the top of the universe, league wise.  Of course, we weren't yet in the diamond league, but it is good to be realistic with your dreams.

Like King Midas.  He had a simple dream as well.  All he wanted was to be able to make every single thing he touch turn to gold.  And through hard work and perseverance he achieved that goal.  But something terrible befell this humble man.  He soon found he would starve to death if everything he touched turned to gold, so he did what any man would do.  He died rich and fulfilled.  Just kidding.  He saw the error of his ways and realized that sometimes we need to be careful what we wish for.

Well, I hate to compare myself to a rich and powerful king (you're right, the comparison is apt) but I experienced practically the exact same thing.  Now that we made it to the platinum league, we haven't won a single game.  Everyone is SO MUCH BETTER than us.  It is like every time I'm about to put the food of victory into my mouth, it becomes the solid gold chunk of failure.  As humiliating as it is, it was a lot more fun being in the bronze league, where wins flow like liquid not turned to gold.  Moral of the story, update your blogs lest we be sucked into a giant black hole.


  1. Jordan, I think you are very funny. The end.

  2. moral of the story, platinum league makes you look cool from the outside, just as king midas, while your inside is thrown in to an unknowable maelstrom of depression